This was supposed to be a good, long entry, covering stuffs like the recent fireworks festival, what happened outside today, upcoming camp, scc chalet. At the very last minute however, everything changed in just a split second. Just. Like. That.
your words, they cut me deep. fresh wounds upon these old scars of mine.
have you ever felt like you were used like some sort of a tool? like, you were always there for somebody, no matter what? Be it good times or bad.. except, except that you weren`t really there during the good times. you just get forgotten, quite conveniently, thrown away like an unwanted toy into some forsaken corner. treated like you have an expiry date, and once you were past your shelf life, you`re simply just not needed anymore.
and the only time somebody looks for you, is when bad days have fallen upon that person again. when that person needs to share the woes, get some advice, seek some help. so you give in, and thats what you do. you listen to the problems, gives some comments, and offer to help in whatever way you can. once the problem was solved, everything seemed to be okay again, except that it`s not. you still found yourself out of the 'happiness' picture.
And the vicious cycle just continue. By the way, that's not hope you`re holding on too, it`s naiveness.
Sunday, end of the week once again. Study week begins in less then an hour, followed by the exam period. I have only 2 papers. I thought i wouldn`t do fantastically well for ETE, but looks like i`m going to have trouble with EM3B as well, judging from my recent CCT results, which was like a hugh surprise for me. Just a week left, tell me what to do. Failure is approaching my doorstep once again.
National Day yesterday. Though i`m not one to be a patriotic citizen of this nation, i wish Singapore a happy 43rd birthday anyway. Some people have problems remembering how old you are, not for me though. I just add 24 to my age, and viola, that's Temasek's years for you. Since there`s 24 hours in a day and all.. so, yeah. The last time i was in the presence of the National Day Parade, i believe it was back when i was still in primary school. Somehow or another, the school managed to get a bunch of tickets, so quite a number of primary school kids got to go, including me of course. I almost got to go a second time about 3 or 4 years ago. Was out and everything with my friends already, but at the last minute, it turned out there wasn`t enough tickets to go around, 1 short to be precise. Knowing that my bestie hh don`t have much opportunity to attend this kind of events, i offered him my space. Of course he rejected at first, as expected from him, so i had to lie that i had an errand to do anyway. White lie okay? It`s for a good cause though. His character is like, too damn stubborn for his own good. Yeaps.. and i think fireworks are like awesome! Haha, that was probably like, so random. The effect of bright lights bursting in the vast and dark skies, and the 'random' exploding patterns, simply breathtaking i tell you.
Okay, another random thought. In the midst of all these jubliant celebrations, we tend to forget which month of the Lunar calendar is upon us. Haha. I wonder if it`s like, pre-arranged from way back when, so that the spirits of the underworld can enjoy National Day amongst the living as well.. and scare us sh*t-less in the process. Haha! Regardless of race, language, living entities or otherwise ehh?
Nothing exciting today i suppose. Woke up like late, late. Somewhere close to 3 p.m. i suppose. Received a message from elizabeth asking if i could study with her. It was like, so last minute. Met her at Plaza Singapura`s Starbucks, but she didn`t really do much work. Mostly flipping through her book and looking around. Haha. Somehow managed to get her to so some, albeit not much, work. She left after only an hour since we met; her mother came to pick her up and all. Looking at her mentality of studying, i really can`t help but compare with my O`levels period. True, she was still only doing her N`levels, but it is just as important as the O`levels.
I remember how our cohort that year mugged for our papers. Even though there was still gaming, outings and stuffs in the middle, when we got down to studying, it was all serious. Not sure `bout the rest, but i even stayed through two different nights at AMK`s McDonald`s just to study, then taking the first bus from there to school for that same paper. I can`t say i`m too happy with my results , looking at them now. Okay, i`m contended with those that i did pass, fair enough. Like A1 for E.Maths and B3 for English Language (Where forth are thou, A2?). I`m just upset that i didn`t have a full O`levels certificate. Just 4 passes. Sighs. I`m not killing myself with regrets though. All in the past, water under the bridge. But for you guys still taking secondary education, better make sure you break your necks and work your butts off till you graduate. Won`t be easy, but secondary school wasn`t meant to be a breeze. You can slack all you want once you reach tertiary education.
Wondered around Plaza Singapura after elizabeth left. No prize for guessing where i went first. I think, i`m really starting to suck at the Drummania machine. Looks like i got over my peak, and way past my prime. Such a waste, and i haven`t gotten to the 'attracted crowd in awe' standard. Pity pity.. Saw rachelle at Plaza Singapura too. She sure has grown much since the last i saw her back at bartley back.. three years ago? Still have the looks though. She saw me and smiled a little, then walked away with her two friends accompanying her. Oh well, just another acquaintance, as expected. McDonald`s for dinner, and only because i want to complete the Olympic Cups set. I already have four of the five, and it would be a darn shame if i failed to make a claim for the final piece.
Tadaa ~!! It only took me five McSpicy Meals, upsized, change the drink to iced milo, no mayonaise and fries without salt. Two curry sauce pl0x. Thankiew~ =3
*** Songs 4 U
Still in the oldies mood. For today, it is the very first song ever that i heard when i was a young boy. First song of my life, first song that i loved.
It
is a ballad written by Gary Baker and Frank J. Myers that became a hit for two acts in 1994. Initially it was a number one song on the U.S. Hot Country Singles & Tracks chart for John Michael Montgomery at the beginning of the year. His version crossed over to pop radio and climbed to #42 on the Billboard Hot 100. A few months later, All-4-One covered the song and achieved a great success in many countries, including Sweden where it was a number-one hit.
- http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Swear
And that song is none other then, the one and only, [Insert drumroll], I Swear!
I Swear John Michael Montgomery
I see the questions in your eyes I know what's weighing on your mind You can be sure I know my part 'Cause I`ll stand beside you through the years You'll only cry those happy tears And though I make mistakes I'll never break your heart
CHORUS: And I swear By the moon and the stars in the skies I'll be there I swear like the shadow that's by your side I'll be there For better or worse, 'till death do us part I'll love you with every beat of my heart And I swear
I'll give you every thing I can I'll build your dreams with these two hands We'll hang some memories on the walls And when there`s silver in your hair You won't have to ask if I still care 'Cause as the time turns the page, my love won't age at all
Chorus x 2
o0O-O0o
The video featuring the original artist for the track. The person who did the subtitles made it look like some hong kong movie. Haha. The cover by the boyband "All-4-One" has a different arrangement. For one, they started off with the chorus as an intro. Also, a line from the verse after the chorus was changed. The part, "And when there`s silver in your hair" was edited to, "And when just the two of us are there", if you actually noticed, which i think not would be the case for many.
Another listen-and-cry song. Touching lyrics indeed. Personal favourite part would be, "For better or worse, till death do us part. I`ll love you with every beat of my heart".
::~~::
*** Video Selection of the Week:
Names that you should know:
George Bush is the male lead as the President of the United States. Condoleeze Rice is the woman giving the report. Hu Jintao is the referenced guy in China. Yassir Arafat is some guy in the Middle East. Kofi Annan is the referenced U.N. person.
And so, another sleepless night no thanks to finishing up of PFA Project 2. Not that it`s exactly finished.. i just puttied and rendered my model mouse, all 3 of them. 1 for trial and 2 to choose from for final presentation. Speaking of presentation, i`m freaking worried about it. I haven`t been really performing for PFA much at all, and i predict that my presentation will suck `cos i basically have no idea how a good presentation should be like. Mine will probably be just another sub-standard quality amongst the sea of hopefuls, if i am so lucky.
Going to bath, iron clothes, then off to school soon to see what i can do for my presentation. PFA is very shaky for me now, `cos i really can`t tell if i will pass or fail this time. I cannot afford to fail again. 5 years is too much too handle, and i don`t mean that literally.
Yeah okay i know, i haven`t been regular with blogging, again. Haven`t had a right frame of mind to do so in awhile. Things.. happened, i guess. Ah well, all in the past. i did think for awhile that i was over it, but last Thursday when a certain event was revealed to me, i didn`t expect myself to almost cry. It really did caught me off guard, and it just goes to show i wasn`t as ready as i thought i was. More time, perhaps. Perhaps..
Met up with huijia at SIM last Monday. Felt a little bad as i haven`t been seeing her in awhile, so decided to fetch her home from school. Had a good talk on the way back, mostly about her stuffs, and a certain guy. Don't know why, but i suddenly just felt so protective for her. True, she`s a big girl now and she can take care of herself, but still.. oh i don`t know. *shrugs* Walked back home after sending her back to her house. It wasn`t that far.. okay maybe it was quite a distance, but still walk-able. Good exercise.
SCC`s activity was, a potluck event of sorts, including a karaoke session of course. It was the last one before the upcoming study week, then the dreaded exams. Typical me isn`t really fond of singing (for a good reason..), and a KTV atmosphere is not really my ideal place to relax in, so spent most of the evening out by myself. People who spotted me would give the "Eh, why you alone emo here?" comments. Okay, just to set it straight, i wasn`t 'emo'-ing. If i really was, no one would be able to find me. Think, 31st December 2007 countdown session back then. Case closed.
Oh, something random. Was having CADD2 class this afternoon, when i suddenly thought of the song, 'Tell Laura I Love Her' for no apparent reason. None at all. I just had the suddenly urge to listen to the song. I could only vaguely remember the chorus, but not the rest of the lyrics. So i did a little search, and when i found it, i swear i could have tear`ed a little if i wasn`t in the middle of the class. The lyrics were simple enough, but it`s like, SO DAMN SADDENING !
Okay, sorry about that, but it`s true. Many songs back then had the simplest of lyrics, but the stories they tell is just.. so rivoting. And the emotions they invoke in the souls of the listeners, it`s just unbelieveable.
Tell Laura I Love Her Ray Peterson
Laura and Tommy were lovers He wanted to give her everything Flowers, presents But most of all, a wedding ring
He saw a sign for a stock car race A thousand dollar prize it read He couldn't get Laura on the phone So to her mother, Tommy said
Tell Laura I love her Tell Laura I need her Tell Laura I may be late I've something to do, that cannot wait
He drove his car to the racing grounds He was the youngest driver there The crowed roared as they started the race Around the track they drove at a deadly pace
No one knows what happened that day Or how his car overturned in flames But as they pulled him from the twisted wreck With his dying breath, they heard him say
Tell Laura I love her Tell Laura I need her Tell Laura not to cry My love for her will never die
Now in the chapel where Laura prays For her poor Tommy, who passed away It was just for Laura he lived and died Alone in the chapel she can hear him cry
Tell Laura I love her Tell Laura I need her Tell Laura not to cry My love for her will never die
***
Pause my playlist on the right, and take a little of your time to listen to this. A 60`s oldie it might be, but it is well worth it.
